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While pondering about what makes a true loving relationship last, one word came to my mind and that word is TRUST. Really, trust is the only characteristic that couples can have to make their union last.
A friend once said that the word ‘trust’ does not exist in our present time because of countless once-upon-a-time sizzling affairs gone extinct. But the question is: has trust really gone into extinction? Can trust really be a criterion for a good loving relationship? The answer to the former is No and the latter, Yes! Trust still exists in some relationships and has been the bedrock of many marriages.
To understand what a true loving relationship that eventually leads to marriage is, one needs to realise that relationship is an agreement between two individuals to come together, as one for the purpose of caring for one another based on trust, and subsequently get married. When a relationship begins without trust, the union, surely, is heading for the rocks.
Many loving relationships have been destroyed because of lack of trust between both partners. Such relationships failed to establish good marriages at the end. In the society today, majority of associations between a man and woman have become more of a game than a serious one because one partner had lost respect for the other due to lack of trust; overtime, they breakup – one leaving the other to suffer heartbreak.
In another sense, many spouse misconstrue what trust means. They claim they know what trust is but when situations come to test the level of trust they have for their partner, they fail woefully. This is because they only understood it in words but nothing about its concepts that help them withstand the pressure – perseverance and faith in one another. Without these two concepts, a good measure of trust cannot exist between partners.
What then is trust? Trust is the belief that someone would behave just as he or she has said. Catherine Morris, a marriage physiotherapist, puts it better in her article –Build a Stronger Relationship: 10 Tips to Deepen Trust – that “Trust means that you have placed your confidence and faith in your partner, and that you expect honesty, integrity, loyalty, and respect to be at the centre of your relationship. You also expect your partner to keep promises and confidences, and to stay with you when the going gets tough”. Again, Bruna Martinuzzi, an educator, author and speaker specializing in emotional intelligence and leadership, gave another interesting assertion when she wrote in her article – The Power of Trust : a Steel Cable – that “Trust is largely an emotional act, based on an anticipation of reliance. It is fragile, and like an egg shell, one slip can shatter it. Further she explained that “Trust pervades nearly every aspect of our daily lives. It is fundamentally important in the healthy functioning of all of our relationships with others.” Concisely, trust is an emotional tool every one should strive to maintain in our individual lives if we want to effectively deal with others in the society. It is ultimately that aspect that gains us respect from others. So in essence, no relationship can grow into something sweeter like marriage without respect and one cannot respect the other where there is no trust.
For any relationship to endure and develop into a good home based on trust, it must persevere. Perseverance is one of the concepts of trust and is another word for endurance. When a partner perseveres with the other, it shows that he or she believes there can still be a change of situation. The belief that when you try to make a worse situation become normal as many spouses believe, and there seems to be no change then they quit. No! Trust can never be gotten that way. Instead, one prayerfully wait and deal with the situation by getting advice on ways the situation can be improved. Changing partners doesn’t mean you won’t encounter such situation with him or her. But when a spouse helps and endures the other during difficult times much trust is earned. That is what It means to persevere.
Aside perseverance, faith wraps it all up. Faith according to the Holy Bible is assurance of what is hoped for and an evidence of what is not seen. Faith endures over a long time irrespective of individual shortcomings. It believes and encourages the other to aspire to become better. Where these two important concepts are recognised and put into consideration in every relationship, no doubt such relationship would, as all expects, lead both partners to the altar.
If you would like to deepen the trust between you and your partner, always try go keep your spouse’s secrets. If a partner always discuss the secret his or her spouse and they get to know about it, the trust each share would be lost in no time.
Let your spouse hear your voice more than text messages
If you can’t fulfil the promises you make to your spouse, then shut up. Nothing breaks trust more than unfulfilled promises.
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